Cindy, I think it depends where you are looking to meet men. I'm in my 30s, in NYC and have actually met many guys, and have male friends from Europe and other countries. I've spend time in other states, and never have experienced as much diversity as in NYC. I love it here, and there's so much to do and get involved with, and people to meet.
I think if you are looking to meet men in places like night clubs or bars, it's not that conducive to actually getting men to approach you. Even though there are many nice sophisticated clubs/bars in the city for 30+ crowd..still, many times men may not want to approach women (even if they find her attractive), for many reasons. Maybe they just love hanging in these types of places and not looking for a relationship, or maybe they have a girlfriend or wife (sometimes)and just out for a drink. I know many people in relationships and still hang out because it's enjoyable to have drinks with friends, listen to live music, etc. Not everyone always hangs out with their s/o.

I think the key is to get involved in hobbies/activites that you enjoy. For example, I am a dance latin/ballroom aficionado, and have met many men from Italy (where it's very popular), Holland, France, Spain, Australia, some UK, Ireland, Asia, South America etc. etc. who love dancing. Some live here, but many are travellers (Europeans get much more vacation time) and spend months in the city, sometimes the entire summer, taking advanced dance workshops, and attending concerts, or the popular dance congress where people from all over the world come together. The place where we dance are not necessarily night clubs (thou a few are, but sophisticated), but mostly large dance studios which are converted to social dance events, and dance workshops, etc. etc. There is an activity to be found every day of the week in NYC.

Many of these men have fallen in love with NY women and stayed. Ok, that's not common if they are just visiting, but there are many European here that are permanent residents. You don't know how many women I know (over 35, 40) who are dating these men, and have no problem finding dates.
You probably just don't encounter them often, if you don't engage in certain activities where you may meet them.
I'm not saying to pick up dancing if you don't like it..although it's fantastic exercise, great fun, and you do meet many people from all over.
Of course, I don't think native NYC American men are bad, and I know many who are cool and fun to be with as well.
But it's just that this type of dancing tends to attract more European men for some reason.
But I just think you need to be involved in some hobby, activity, that you really enjoy, and you will meet men that have similar interests, and actually whom you will actually 'like' to be around.
I personally think if a guy is 'just' very attractive and there is nothing interesting about him, or I have nothing in common with him..then it's boring for me.I have come to realize this as I've gotten older, and really don't like being with a guy who is not open minded or doesn't have much interesting to talk about.

Of course, attraction is important, but it's not everything. I'm not saying go for a guy you find unappealing physically...but you'd be surprised how you can actually fall for someone whom you first become friends with and enjoy his company. This is what I think happens when you engage in activities where you meet people, whether it's social dancing, skating, listening to poetry, art, photography,cooking, watching films, whatever you like. Or take a an adult class in something you always were interested in , I think you will find more men that you can become friends with. I just think it's easier to become friends with men first, then develop a relationship. Those are the type that last longer anyway, in my experience.
Good luck and don't give up, this is a great area to meet all sorts of people. Of course, there's alot of competition (beautiful girls) in the city. But you'd be surprised how many decent looking men I know who are more interested in dating girls that they find captivating personality-wise or share passion about something. These are the men 30+ whom I know and many actually are foreign born, living in the city.

;)

Hi Violeta,

I live about 1 hr south of NYC in NJ. I don't actually enjoy NYC all that much and rarely socialize there. I've taken dance classes, art classes, golf lessons etc at local colleges near me and only much older men and women attend. I'm sure this would be different in NYC or even Hoboken or Morristown. But all are too far for me to go during the week...the weekend is a different story and I frequently travel an hour to go out to more "happening" areas. I know there is an organization called Jersey Sports club that I've heard great things about. I'm strongly considering moving to Morristown, NJ though I need to get a job first. Was laid off a few months ago.

It's very interesting to note the difference of opinion in this thread regarding European men. Since I have no personal experience dating European men I cannot comment on it. Though I do find British men appealing but that may just be a romanticized fantasy of them and not reality. I have tremedous interest in British history and the monarchy so that probably adds to it. Who knows?

Yeah that's asking too much. I have been married 7 years and my wife doesn't laugh at any of my jokes, ever! Also I am a little bit crazy and NOONE finds it cute.

The upside to all of this is that it puts long term relationships in perspective and makes you realize that being single and one time dates are probabbly just as exciting/fulfilling.

Maybe the average/below average guys find your looks intimidating and don't dare ask you out, since they feel you would reject them. I also see many unattractive gay guys with partners all the time. But whose to say they are all happy anyway? Some people just want to be with someone for the sake of it, or to not be lonely.
I would rather be with someone I really like to be with, and that also likes to be with me, for the person I am. But it's much harder to find this type of connection. I understand how you feel.

I would love to see a whole lot more of the world too. I have been to Paris, and other a few other places. I love Paris, since it's a big city (bigger than NYC) and also so much to engage in, so many people of all ages interacting, living life. There seems to be more open-minded views in cities, esp. NYC, when it comes to societal 'rules',about age, what you 'should' be doing at a certain period in life, etc. and people seem to interact more. Sure, people can be rude or cold sometimes, but when you really get to experience the city and all you can do, so many interesting and fun people to meet, etc. it's a great place. Plus you don't even need a car. =)

rob, what happened to your post??

Do that and you might just bump into a certain anime loving, long haired, long faced, 6'2 and a half, 155lb, secular ashkenazi jew that worships Dr. Park and lives 15 minutes from Morristown and goes there at least once a week. He's not in Jersey right now but hes going back in a few months.

555-555-5555

I dont think you are his type though. He's so heterosexual he wouldn't even go "gay for pay".

Welcome to my world.