|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Member
Joined: 6/4/2008
Posts: 6,566
Points: 19,579
|
Happy Christmas and New year to you Larazelle. Nice to see you here on the board again:)
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Member
Joined: 6/7/2008
Posts: 1,661
Points: 4,983
Location: No PMs
|
Larazelle wrote:
Hey Pauluk -
Sorry I have not replied earlier - I go on-line to just read - its better that way - I'm tired of arguments - life is too short -
I am looking forward to a "restorative winter break" - planning on doing a "Silent Retreat" - no talking for a few days - just lots of Yoga, Meditation and working with the Tarot - I always feel a deep peace after that - I have a blog on "Matters of the Spirit" If you or anyone else is interested please pm me so I can direct you to it - also, if you wish to contact me do so on my private e-mail - leave your e-mail and I will respond -
Love and Peace to All
Larazelle
post a link to your blog?
|
|
Rank: Member
Groups: Member
Joined: 5/3/2009
Posts: 620
Points: 1,866
Location: UK
|
Hi Larazelle,
Its good to hear from you, hope you have a great Christmas and a very Happy New Year ...the 'Silent Retreat' sounds interesting.....hope to hear how it went.
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Member
Joined: 9/30/2008
Posts: 1,991
Points: 8,259
Location: UK
|
i have always fancied a retreat. not during the holidays, though:)
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Member
Joined: 6/12/2008
Posts: 1,448
Points: 4,319
|
pauluk wrote:i have always fancied a retreat. not during the holidays, though:)
I feel the winter months are more conducive to retreats - A lot of Meditation Centers do Winter Retreats. During the summer one is more extroverted - winter is the time to brood or contemplate - I don't do them when family or friends are with me to celebrate the holidays - its after the New Year when everything dies down - its a good way, at least for me to start the New Year -
Hotels in Cleveland
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Editor
, Member
Joined: 5/15/2008
Posts: 3,437
Points: 10,464
Location: NYC
|
Larazelle wrote:
Hey Pauluk -
Sorry I have not replied earlier - I go on-line to just read - its better that way - I'm tired of arguments - life is too short -
I am looking forward to a "restorative winter break" - planning on doing a "Silent Retreat" - no talking for a few days - just lots of Yoga, Meditation and working with the Tarot - I always feel a deep peace after that - I have a blog on "Matters of the Spirit" If you or anyone else is interested please pm me so I can direct you to it - also, if you wish to contact me do so on my private e-mail - leave your e-mail and I will respond -
And to Everyone -
May you have a Magical Christmas and a Wonderful New Year Full of Happy Surprises -
Love and Peace to All
Larazelle
Hey Lara, sending pm re: your blog. I'm not talking for a few days either, however my silence is due to my spending too much time with my parents and us getting on each other's nerves. It's best that I keep quiet at this point ;) . I STILL HAVE 3 more days!! What was I thinking!??!
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Member
Joined: 6/4/2008
Posts: 6,566
Points: 19,579
|
Oh dear. Parents are loved but are a different generation and can get on your nerves!! Do lots of nice things for them. It will make them happy and you feel good:)
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Member
Joined: 6/29/2009
Posts: 3,111
Points: 9,590
Location: The leaf I am sitting on
|
I have found that empathy is the best cure for irritating parents. I've come the full loop with my own mom - very difficult lady she was. But I still struggle with my in-laws. They want two things from their kids: 1.) feed their ego and 2.) listen to them all day with rapt attention. They are never going to change at 86 and 91 years old. So it is up to me to accept who and what they are, and genuinely try to empathize with where they are coming from. It's humbling, exhausting, frustrating, and makes me feel like I'm not being true to myself. But I'm hoping it will also make me a better person and more compassionate. Hang in there Ryan. Just know that you can say ANYTHING you want in the silence of your mind. Yes, even 4-letter words are perfectly ok to release the tension.
I Bug U
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Editor
, Member
Joined: 5/15/2008
Posts: 3,437
Points: 10,464
Location: NYC
|
Thanks for the advice guys, things have gotten better once Christmas day came and all the crazy hustle and bustle energy went away. They're both just very naggy. Mom always was, and in recent years Dad is too. They're not like this with my sister (3 years older), just me. That pisses me off, but I am more brattish than my sister, always was, so I guess that's what it stems from. Whenever we're back together, it's like I'm still in high school!
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Member
Joined: 5/15/2008
Posts: 5,936
Points: 16,585
Location: Payne Whitney Ward #3
|
Confucius tells us, grandparents and grandchildren share a common enemy.
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Member
Joined: 6/4/2008
Posts: 6,566
Points: 19,579
|
^^^^^ Too true
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Member
Joined: 6/29/2009
Posts: 3,111
Points: 9,590
Location: The leaf I am sitting on
|
Perhaps your parents feel that you are much harder to pin down and control than your sister! They nag, nag, nag, trying in vain to bend you to their will. That was exactly the case with my mom. Every sentence was prefaced with, "You must ..." or "You should ..." But it fell on a brick. I did what the hell I pleased. I just stayed away from my parents for about 15 years till I grew up and they stopped trying to control me. I was 45 when I "returned". It is typical for siblings and parents to fall right back into the old ways when together. Don't know why that is, but you have to detach to maintain both sanity and independence, Grasshopper. ================================== Ryan wrote:Thanks for the advice guys, things have gotten better once Christmas day came and all the crazy hustle and bustle energy went away. They're both just very naggy. Mom always was, and in recent years Dad is too. They're not like this with my sister (3 years older), just me. That pisses me off, but I am more brattish than my sister, always was, so I guess that's what it stems from. Whenever we're back together, it's like I'm still in high school!
I Bug U
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Editor
, Member
Joined: 5/15/2008
Posts: 3,437
Points: 10,464
Location: NYC
|
Bugjune wrote: Don't know why that is, but you have to detach to maintain both sanity and independence,
Grasshopper.
Lol, always comes back to bugs with you ladybug. You're right in your assessment, and that's exactly what I did to get through it all. Non-reaction was the best reaction, and I bent over backwards trying to be cordial when I wanted to lash out. Also knowing that I have a tendency towards brattish-ness helped me curtail my usual reactions to certain situations. Lesson learned though: Never stay with my parents for more than a few days.
|
|
Rank: Advanced Member
Groups: Member
Joined: 6/29/2009
Posts: 3,111
Points: 9,590
Location: The leaf I am sitting on
|
^^^ You are WiSE to do so! By detaching and making an effort to be cordial, you created a less stressful environment for your folks. Chances are, they never dreamed you wanted to lash out, so they will have fond memories of your visit. It is hard to subsume one's true feelings (I always feel like I'm lying to myself!) but the end result is more peace. And like you said: NEVER stay with your folks more than a few days. No bridges burned ... and you SURVIVED! In skimming some of the Dalai Lama's teachings, I ran across a line that sticks with me - and helps me get through many a prickly patch with family and friends: be thankful for the challenges thrown your way! When someone reacts to you with anger, absorb it, and reflect back compassion. Your spirit will grow, their anger will be deflected, and no harm will come of it. Takes hella practice, tho.
I Bug U
|
|
|
Guest |
